jibblyuniverse:

derpfire:

jibblyuniverse:

frenums:

things that will always sound sarcastic

  • good for you
  • thanks a lot
  • yeah right
  • nice to know
  • wow
  • way to go
  • totally
  • ok buddy

Not if you say ‘man’ at the end

ok buddy man

I might not have thought that last one through

solluxcraptor:

"you’re too cute to be single!"

then date me

thebeauty-isa-beast:

curvellas:

my fall look today is winged eyeliner, plum lipstick, and a look on my face like i’m fucking your boyfriend and can’t wait for you to find out.

My fall look is simple liner with bold lashes, burgundy lipstick, a gleam in my  eyes that let’s men know that I’ll suck their dick, their money out of their bank accounts, and the souls right out of their bodies.

tomthebluellama:

hellarat:

madmaninachair:

Do you ever memorize a person’s voice? Like you can construct a sentence in your mind that that person’s never said, and yet you hear them say it.

Is that a thing people can do?????????

yea 

caseyanthonyofficial:

I hate when I smile at a stranger and they don’t smile back I’m doing this for you fucker

unpopulaur:

"You should smile more!"

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"You look tired!"

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"Are you really going to eat all that?"

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Is it that time of month?

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"You’re just being dramatic"

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"You have terrible taste"

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"Just exercise and eat less!"

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"Thats really slutty"

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(Source: tatianamaslnay)

"Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away."

Paul Terry (via kushandwizdom)

adorability:

I love when you become so close with someone that you can see parts of each other in one another and you begin to say the same things and steal lines from one another and have a similar sense of humor and can exchange an inside joke with just a glance you don’t even have to talk because you have such a strong connection with them and you can sit in comfortable silence but also talk for hours it’s really hard to find that kind of compatibility

caseyanthonyofficial:

Today I found out that my dick is as long as 2 office depot staplers. In other news I’m banned from office depot. 

tattookink:

when you at a family event and somebody say ‘all the boys gone be chasing after you’

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perchu:

katara:

why are people so obsessed with “top or bottom” 

honestly im just excited to have a bunk bed

dearborns:

foxnewsofficial:

they should replace hospital gowns with colourful mexican ponchos because they’re kinda similar and no one could be sad 

if we’re gonna die let’s die looking like a peruvian folk band